Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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