hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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