I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
