I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
