I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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