So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
