Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
