Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
organizing the empties. That sober.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize