Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
