You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
