Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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