you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
