I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
