i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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