By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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