question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
