Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize