naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
