Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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