you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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