Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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