We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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