Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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