I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My feet surprised me
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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