As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
