Sry I called you an 8
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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