I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
