Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
