Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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