so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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