Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Say something about gay babies.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I pour the whiskey from now on
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
