well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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