You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
