Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize