Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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