She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
