you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I love you. Go after that dick
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
