the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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