If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
