and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
