i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
