my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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