I don't remember. Are we still dating?
zippers are such a cool invention
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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