you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
