I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize