Porn is love you can see.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
