PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
