I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize