i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
