Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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