i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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