do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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