it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
