I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
