he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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