Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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