but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
