Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
he's single and there are thong briefs.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize