if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
