I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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