I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
