I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
