The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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