so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
