in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
