I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
