...so i touched it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
