Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
